Walt: create a descriptive passage using a range of suitable adjectives and adverbs to create an image in the reader’s mind.
Idea Details
Young man driving drunk.
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*He gets drunk and drives with his mate.
*He slowly realises he has pushed more and more down in the accelerator.
*All he heard was sirens.
*He knew then that he had stuffed up!
*He felt drops of blood rolling down his skin
*He feels unsafe and scared he sees a stream of two colours going down his face, one crystal blue, other rose red.
*The metal pole destroyed the right side of the car, windows were shattered everywhere, the doors were in ruins, there was no room to move.
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Ideas
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Details Walt: build up our character by adding character traits.
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Character traits
(18 year old)
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Determined to go out with his mates.
Staggering everywhere
Disobedient
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Now put these together into a paragraph.
All I could hear was music, it was pounding from every corner of the room. It made my glass shatter onto the floor leaving it in a million pieces.
I looked up to see myself in the mirror and thought, “What am I doing here?”
After sitting there ignoring myself I rapidly stepped outside, a breath of fresh air rushes into my face and down my back.
Staring into the distance I saw one of my old friends Josh, we grew up with each other from our childhood days, everything was perfect, then one day his family moved away.
With me being a six year old, it felt like I was being abandoned, we never thought we would meet again...
Time went past so fast it felt like we were talking for months, memories kept coming back to me while we gossiped away. For the first time in a long time I felt happy,
My shadow suddenly got stamped upon by moving bodies in a rush. Nick forced me towards the car, my head was spinning and my body was slowly collapsing.
The keys got shoved into my hand, He screamed “GO!” I slammed my foot down, unsure what was happening.
The was car screaming, sliding, scretching everywhere, barely on the road. My body was tossed everywhere, it was nuts!
The car come to a heavy stop…
I gently opened my eyes, finding my leg covered by a pole, I looked around, everything was destroyed, glass broken and the doors were squashed together, there was no way out, behind me was unconscious bodies fading away, i twisted my head finding a crack in the door I took a peek but all I could see was smoke, my head started spinning, I went to reach for my head, I could feel something…
I pulled my hand down to find it wrapped in blood, tears started rolling down my skin, I screamed for help, but it was useless, I stopped, I gave up, just then my eyes rolled down covering my eyes…
Farewell world...